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My Magazine > Editors Archive > Advice > Making Butt Play Smooth and Fun
Making Butt Play Smooth and Fun   by Tristan Taormino

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Tristan Taormino is the author of several sensationally sexy and informative books including Down and Dirty Sex Secrets, Pucker Up: A Hands-on Guide to Ecstatic Sex, The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women. From college campuses to sex toy boutiques she tours the country touting the wonders of anal sex and the overall goodness of sex in all its frisky forms. In the Anal advisor columns, first published in the Village Voice, Tristan addresses the ifs, ands, and butts of anal sex.

You can visit Tristan at her official website, www.PuckerUp.com.
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Dear Anal Advisor:

I recently got very into anal sex. Beforehand it just never worked, but now I’m with a guy who knows what he’s doing, and it’s great. I have two questions. I recently shaved my butthole for the first time, and it got a bit itchy. What kind of lotion to you recommend to help it from being too itchy? Second, my guy was interested in buying that new KY Warming Liquid, but I heard it's bad for anal. Have you used it? What do you think? Does it burn or is it safe?

Shaved and Ready

Dear Shaved and Ready:

Welcome to the world of anal sex lovers! Your tale proves that with a patient, skilled lover, even people who’ve had negative anal experiences in the past can enjoy it. I’m so glad you found someone who could do you like you deserve to be done! As for your shaved-but-itchy ass, I recommend you use products with no fragrance, dye, or long lists of other chemical ingredients since all of them will serve to further aggravate your hairless hole. A little bit of witch hazel should calm the irritated skin, followed by baby oil, petroleum jelly, or a very gentle moisturizer for sensitive skin. As for your query about KY Warming Liquid, here’s the scoop: this is a new lubricant produced by a well-respected name when it comes to slippery stuff. KY Warming Liquid is water-based and the packaging claims it "creates a gentle warming sensation on contact." Off all the reviews I’ve heard, none has been very great; people describe the effect as either too subtle or intense burning, neither of which sound very good to me. The product contains honey and chemicals to create the warming sensation, which can irritate the sensitive tissue of both the front and back doors. If you like the KY brand, then I recommend you try KY UltraGel; otherwise, water-based thick lubes like AstroGlide Gel, Maximus, or I-D work great.


Dear Anal Advisor:

I just started having anal sex with my girlfriend. We did it the first time with lots of lube and I was able to get the entire shaft inside her with little to no pain. She told me that she could feel the fullness but she got no pleasure or pain from it. She said that if I wanted to do it again later it would be no problem since it does not hurt her; however, I would like for her to get some pleasure out of it. I cannot touch her vagina with my fingers because she it very ticklish there. If you have any suggestions, I would appreciate it them.

Pleasure With My Probe

Dear PWMP:

Bravo to you for realizing that anal sex should be pleasurable for both people involved. My suggestion is that you add some clitoral stimulation to the mix. While you are doing her ass, rub her clit, or, if it’s easier, have her do it herself. You could also use a vibrator for more intense, focused sensation. Many women (me included!) love the combination of clitoral and anal stimulation, and lots of girls say that they don’t experience pleasure from anal penetration without something on their clit. I’m not sure what to make of your girlfriend’s ticklish pussy. That sounds more psychological than physical to me. Perhaps it’s a reaction to her feeling shy about receiving pleasure; if that’s the case, then you should encourage her to relax and give herself permission to experience being touched and pleasured. Or, it could be that when she’d turned on, her genitals become super-sensitive, and stimulation of any kind feels overwhelming. Then, try softer, more indirect kinds of stimulation, like rubbing her clit from one side, rather than directly on top.
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Dear Anal Advisor:

My girlfriend and I like anal sex a lot, and we always talk dirty about using anal beads when we are doing it. I have no doubt she wants me to get them, but I am curious about a couple things. Are there anal beads for first timers? What do they do exactly? Is there a guide on how to use them? How can we use them so she gets the most pleasure out of the experience?

[To be continued...]