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snot  

wickedeasy 74F
11076 posts
10/29/2017 11:58 am
snot

What’s in a name? I grew up disliking my first name, my sister hers. We were names for great aunts and while we understood the significance and thanked the stars we hadn’t been named for Ethel, we also craved the names of our luckier friends. Now there were some lower on the pole than us who would have traded gladly like Irene, Gladys and Gertrude. Isabelle shortened her name to Issy and beat the crap out of anyone who dared call her anything else. All the boys had good old John, Joseph, Robert, Charles, Greg names except one who was called Shirley.

Poor old Shirley, named for his maternal grandfather and damned for 12 years of torture without pause. To top it off, Shirley wasn’t a jock or a big , nope. Shirley was a little guy, wore coke bottle glasses, lisped, and he ate his own boogers. Not much going for Shirley.

Our third-grade teacher was having an onsite nervous breakdown which we were all enjoying immensely. Cut up in class and she’d peg an eraser at your head……. good shot, too. Every time Shirley ate a booger she’d go green, peg him, leave the room, come back all wet faced. Thinking about it now, I guess she might have been pregnant. We just thought she was nutz.

one day Margaret my best friend who sat in front of Shirley, was reading out loud. I love to read but listening to someone else read will kill my joy fast, so I was watching ol’ Shirl.

He snagged a good one. But the teacher was eyes on, yanno? So instead of a mid-morning snack, he stuck it into one of Margaret’s perfectly glossy banana curls. Stuck his finger up from the bottom and it came out just clean as a whistle.



I am not a snitch. But if you knew Margaret, and how long her mama spent on those curls, and how people teased her sometimes cuz she couldn’t run so fast cuz of her heart and how she’d NEVER ever turn around and slap the bejesus out of anyone….well. I mean, it’s not like you can just not do something, right?

Later in the Principal’s office I was explaining why I had shoved Shirley put of his seat and grabbed Margaret’s hair. The Principal sent for Margaret. Her face was white, so white when she came in, but curious. Not a frequent flyer like me. She kept looking all around trying to find the whips and chains.

he told me to show him, I opened the long curl there it was. He left and his secretary came in with a wet tissue, got it out. Margaret took a look, started crying. Still not sure if it was because the curl was no longer a curl or if the IDEA of a snot that big travelling with her for a while just shook her up. Anyway, we left together.

Saw Shirley heading down as we headed back. Margaret, kicked him hard. I was stunned into silence.

Things change. Just like that.

You cannot conceive the many without the one.


wickedeasy 74F
32404 posts
10/29/2017 12:02 pm

I could never do banana curls except for about three minutes after which they just turned into curls all over the place. I envied those silky loops.

Margaret grew into a beautiful woman. a smile that lights up a room.

You cannot conceive the many without the one.


wildnwanton 61F
19428 posts
10/29/2017 12:09 pm

Good for Margaret. I would have had to have been pulled off the hapless lad, I was a bit of a roughneck in school at that age lol.

"Shall I tell you the secret of the true scholar? It is this: every man I meet is my master in some point, and in that I learn of him."
~Ralph Waldo Emerson


Tmptrzz 61F  
107039 posts
10/29/2017 12:10 pm

Oh that's gross to have a booger in your hair, so glad you told. And you know what I hate my name too I don't know what the hell my parents were thinking. I got teased so much in school, that I absolutely hated school..Great story thanks for sharing it with us. I hope you are having a great weekend..

Seduce the mind and see what a wonderful adventure the body will take you on..


iwalkstilts 48M
2869 posts
10/29/2017 2:16 pm

Good for Margaret.
I don't like my name very much and I go by my nickname.


superbjversion2 68F  
24388 posts
10/29/2017 3:40 pm

Thanks for the laugh. I think Shirley should have been given a break ... it's a bad enough girls name but for a boy? Geez. I wonder if he shortened it to Lee as he got older?

Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!


Hardupfosho 48M
1727 posts
10/29/2017 4:14 pm

Hmm, unwelcome snot assaults sure do tend to bring out the beast in the most docile of people.

I wonder what ever became of Shirley?


goodatpoetry2 74M
16552 posts
10/30/2017 3:42 am

Atta girl, Margaret! .
It doesn't matter HOW "nice" you are... sometimes you just have to kick someone.

Excellent post!
( we need more like this... )


pocogato12 71F  
37235 posts
10/30/2017 5:24 am

Do not get me going on "snot" I could tell you a lot about the adults I saw doing
boogers at a very busy intersection. Horn blasting doesn't beat shin kicking

(Virtual Symposium Group) use Virtual Symposium Group


sweet_VM 65F
81699 posts
10/30/2017 8:36 am

Excellent for Margret. An excellent read. Funny how stuff like this happens when we are kids. My name comes from my grandma. Hugs V

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lindoboy100 61M
23969 posts
10/30/2017 11:14 am

Parents can be so cruel when it comes to names......I know a guy called Richard Head, seriously!

And poor old Shirley, he was just starting off a right good snotter collection and there you were curtailing his collection activities, spoilsport!!


kzoopair 72M/71F
25831 posts
11/3/2017 7:06 pm

I like your name. I din't think Ethyl's all that bad either. When I was a kid we used to make dumb jokes about Joe down at the Sunoco station pumping Ethyl in the back seat.

I like this story, too. Hurray for Margaret. I got called into conference with the principal one day with a friend. His office had some kind of repair going on so we got hauled into the kitchen. I sat on the counter. It was hot in there and the principal was chewing a lot of ass. Fuck, it was the kitchen but you'd have thought it was the dining room. Suddenly I went all dizzy and pitched forward off the counter. I had nearly fainted from the heat. But my buddy and the principal thought I was diving for for him, to take him down. They jumped back and I landed on my face. It woulda been funny if I hadn't been so out of it. Anyway, that ended the session.

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christylovesfun 51F  
16880 posts
11/9/2017 10:10 am



Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale
Her infinite variety. Other women cloy
The appetites they feed, but she makes hungry
Where most she satisfies. For vilest things
Become themselves in her, that the holy priests
Bless her when she is riggish. ~~ from Antony & Cleopatra


ProfPlayful 53M
3861 posts
11/13/2017 6:56 am

If you really dont like your name I will happily call you Mark Twain or O. Henry. I love your well-told stories and appreciate your writing skills.

My featured post this week: Pulling Fantasy Sex Out of My Ass.


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