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Two Things You Can Do... To Make Her Hum... 🔥❤️  

Paulxx001 66M
8702 posts
3/3/2020 9:56 am

Last Read:
6/14/2020 4:10 pm

Two Things You Can Do... To Make Her Hum... 🔥❤️

You can find a tiny bit of wisdom and a smidgen of irony, in strange places ; you just have keep your eyes and ears open and sometimes, they fall right onto your lap. Take yesterday for instance.

As usual, I was driving home and trapped - once again - in snarled traffic. My radio was blaring when I heard these words spoken.

"When you fall in love, you fall in love with that person - in spite of their imperfections."

You might think it was a remark from ; a 'love doctor' or an inspirational 'thought for the day'. In fact, it was part of an advertisement for - of all things - a store selling appliances, that are slightly dinged or scratched. What a captivating by-line to push a product. The announcer also promised ; more than fifty percent off, with a guaranteed 'great deal'.

Ironically - back in the day - my spouse and I went to THAT store and bought a huge side by side fridge. When we first examined that stainless steel behemoth and all its (supposed) imperfections we accepted it, fell in love with it and brought it home. It had a few scratches and a small dent, but that ice box was a beast. She still IS a beast. I own it to this very day!

It's a sombre paradox that my wife and I could live contently, with an imperfect gadget, but we couldn't - live with each other's nicks and dents. Our union... eventually dissolved.

My old fridge? She can still fricken flash freeze burning magnesium - in five seconds! Sure... every once in a while the motor buzzes a bit. I nudge her on the side or jiggle her a touch and - she continues to hum.

If it were only that easy, right ? I didn't think about it back then, but perhaps a nudge here and a jiggle there... might have saved a marriage.

Nah... I don't think so.

.........................................
. ..


Paulxx001 66M
22642 posts
3/3/2020 9:59 am

Is 'love', all about accepting your partner with all their imperfections or is that just a myth? 🤔


Paulxx001 66M
22642 posts
3/3/2020 9:59 am

If life were as easy as giving things a kick, to stop the irritation. 😊
I know... I know... Husbands and wives should never kick each other. But I look at that damn fridge... and it doesn't seem to have minded a boot - from a pair of cushioned slippers once in a while. lol 😂 OMG 😮❤️🌹


lv2play2469 67M
34 posts
3/3/2020 10:26 am

Interesting way to look at relationships... And it makes a lot of sense!!!


lust4life59 65F  
2552 posts
3/3/2020 10:56 am

We all have imperfections, and acceptance of another's imperfections, well to me, sometimes their imperfections are the endearing qualities about them IF they later turn to annoyances, perhaps rather than a kick or two, a gentle nudge might work.


pocogato12 71F  
37235 posts
3/3/2020 11:25 am

Hmm kicked to the curb only to fall face first into a snowcock

(Virtual Symposium Group) use Virtual Symposium Group


scoupe42 60M

3/3/2020 11:55 am

I guess no one going to find the perfect mate. So there things you going to accept and things you won't!


Tmptrzz 61F  
107039 posts
3/3/2020 12:27 pm

What a great read, so glad you still own your fridge, and you know paying attention to the little things in a relationship is what keeps it strong and will definitely keep her humming too..Communication is also the key to a long lasting marriage as well. I hope you enjoy the rest of your day..

Seduce the mind and see what a wonderful adventure the body will take you on..


tsn4fun2 48M/46F  
257 posts
3/3/2020 12:30 pm

Yes and yes. Maybe not a full fledged real kick but a nudge in right direction. If there is love there the other will willingly accept and understand why it was given. Constructive criticism is a good thing for a marriage. Communication is key. Some people actually need the occasional nudge whether it’s just a case of temporary self absorption or just plain ignorance of what they are doing. Humans have a way to justify their wrongs to themselves without thinking of the consequences. A little nudge puts them back in perspective and opens door for whatever is needed to rectify. True love can withstand a whole lot more than you think. I am a sucker for scratch and dent deals. My refrigerator needs a little nudge every once in awhile too. 🙃


flannel_light 61F
4586 posts
3/3/2020 12:45 pm

You have me thinking about some things now

The Light is shinning and she is lonely and waiting in the darkness.


LadyLuck2 67F  
9091 posts
3/3/2020 2:11 pm

Interesting. Many people recognize the imperfections in their partner and marry them in an attempt to change them and then all hell breaks loose when the person can't or won't change. The imperfections we once thought were cute quirks become annoying irritations and then unacceptable behaviors and traits as couples separate and divorce.

Never ignore those who care for you
you will have lost diamonds
while you were collecting stones


superbjversion2 68F  
24388 posts
3/3/2020 2:30 pm

I use to nudge my husband, with my foot, to get him to roll over in bed and stop snoring. Kinda the same thing.

Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!


Heathen_G 65M
7974 posts
3/3/2020 3:15 pm

Is 'love', all about accepting your partner with all their imperfections or is that just a myth? .... That's a huge romanticized fairytale myth.

First of all, people don't fall in love, they become infatuated. And after the infatuation wears off, the flaws become obvious. A persons friends or family members may have tried to open their eyes to the flaws, nicks, scrapes, but he/she wouldn't hear of it, couldn't see it.

You are familiar with that stupid song, "When a man loves a woman"? Yeah ... well , the song is really about being infatuated.

Being infatuated is like being drugged, being totally irrational, out of it.

- If life were as easy as giving things a kick, to stop the irritation. .... And that would absolutely stop the annoyance? Then , yes, people would be doing that a lot.


Heathen_G 65M
7974 posts
3/3/2020 3:29 pm

Those imperfections , thought of as endearing?

At the moment they annoy the shit out of your friends and family,, and later, they sometimes begin to annoy the shit out of you , too.... when you come out of your mind-fog.

This desire to find one and only mate , is really irrational when you consider the population of the planet, ease of travel, how many people you might run into any day of the week just by going to the store...and how close we all have become technologically.


Paulxx001 66M
22642 posts
3/3/2020 4:14 pm

    Quoting lv2play2469:
    Interesting way to look at relationships... And it makes a lot of sense!!!
It struck me as I listened to that add. Hey... pop in any time! 👍 😊


Paulxx001 66M
22642 posts
3/3/2020 4:17 pm

    Quoting lust4life59:
    We all have imperfections, and acceptance of another's imperfections, well to me, sometimes their imperfections are the endearing qualities about them IF they later turn to annoyances, perhaps rather than a kick or two, a gentle nudge might work.
... and isn't THAT, the kicker- when they become an annoyance. How do you change a cute habit or personality trait... that you've grown tired of? 🤔
Add up all those little annoyances and well...
Some people recover and others? 😶


Paulxx001 66M
22642 posts
3/3/2020 4:18 pm

    Quoting pocogato12:
    Hmm kicked to the curb only to fall face first into a snowcock
lol 😂... True.
But he seems to be happy. Can you make out his smile? 🤔


Paulxx001 66M
22642 posts
3/3/2020 4:20 pm

    Quoting scoupe42:
    I guess no one going to find the perfect mate. So there things you going to accept and things you won't!
That's true and... everyone has their own limits of what they ll accept. And then... BOOM... those borders are crossed. Then what? 🤔


Paulxx001 66M
22642 posts
3/3/2020 4:22 pm

    Quoting Tmptrzz:
    What a great read, so glad you still own your fridge, and you know paying attention to the little things in a relationship is what keeps it strong and will definitely keep her humming too..Communication is also the key to a long lasting marriage as well. I hope you enjoy the rest of your day..
And you (and your relationship) are a perfect example of what succeeds. At least, what succeeds for you.
What's your secret? 🤔 🍷🍷😎


Paulxx001 66M
22642 posts
3/3/2020 4:27 pm

    Quoting tsn4fun2:
    Yes and yes. Maybe not a full fledged real kick but a nudge in right direction. If there is love there the other will willingly accept and understand why it was given. Constructive criticism is a good thing for a marriage. Communication is key. Some people actually need the occasional nudge whether it’s just a case of temporary self absorption or just plain ignorance of what they are doing. Humans have a way to justify their wrongs to themselves without thinking of the consequences. A little nudge puts them back in perspective and opens door for whatever is needed to rectify. True love can withstand a whole lot more than you think. I am a sucker for scratch and dent deals. My refrigerator needs a little nudge every once in awhile too. 🙃
Wise words. Are you a therapist? lol 😂
True, about communication. Well... you're a couple... I heard the words 'true love'... is that your ace?
Gotta love a dent... that takes 50% off, something brand new.
Hey... drop by any time. 👍


Paulxx001 66M
22642 posts
3/3/2020 4:29 pm

... lol 😂 Believe me... that stupid add... made me think.
I hope you resolve your thoughts and report back. 😶 👍🍷🍷😎


Paulxx001 66M
22642 posts
3/3/2020 4:37 pm

    Quoting LadyLuck2:
    Interesting. Many people recognize the imperfections in their partner and marry them in an attempt to change them and then all hell breaks loose when the person can't or won't change. The imperfections we once thought were cute quirks become annoying irritations and then unacceptable behaviors and traits as couples separate and divorce.
You hit the nail on the head.
But... in spite of annoying traits, what ticked me... was the way their thoughts and vision didn't match mine.
I really didn't mind all the small stuff...
Good points. You sound balanced... lol 😂
Are you? 🤔 😎🍷🍷


Paulxx001 66M
22642 posts
3/3/2020 5:08 pm

    Quoting superbjversion2:
    I use to nudge my husband, with my foot, to get him to roll over in bed and stop snoring. Kinda the same thing.
Oh... so THAT'S, what she was trying to tell me. 😶
You were lucky... snoring was his only foible. Do you harbour other tips? 🤔 🍷🍷


Paulxx001 66M
22642 posts
3/3/2020 5:31 pm

    Quoting Heathen_G:
    Is 'love', all about accepting your partner with all their imperfections or is that just a myth? .... That's a huge romanticized fairytale myth.

    First of all, people don't fall in love, they become infatuated. And after the infatuation wears off, the flaws become obvious. A persons friends or family members may have tried to open their eyes to the flaws, nicks, scrapes, but he/she wouldn't hear of it, couldn't see it.

    You are familiar with that stupid song, "When a man loves a woman"? Yeah ... well , the song is really about being infatuated.

    Being infatuated is like being drugged, being totally irrational, out of it.

    - If life were as easy as giving things a kick, to stop the irritation. .... And that would absolutely stop the annoyance? Then , yes, people would be doing that a lot.
Infatuation, is a strong word and worthy.
But I'm sure... fairy tales exist? 🤔
Notwithstanding the lyrics... it's not a bad... song.
Have you ever been infatuated?


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
3/3/2020 5:35 pm

When I have a hard time accepting my own imperfections.... How can I believe anyone else would either?


Paulxx001 66M
22642 posts
3/3/2020 5:41 pm

    Quoting Heathen_G:
    Those imperfections , thought of as endearing?

    At the moment they annoy the shit out of your friends and family,, and later, they sometimes begin to annoy the shit out of you , too.... when you come out of your mind-fog.

    This desire to find one and only mate , is really irrational when you consider the population of the planet, ease of travel, how many people you might run into any day of the week just by going to the store...and how close we all have become technologically.
Yeah but... let's take those annoying things everyone does.
I don't know about you, but I could live with that. What I can't live with, is someone who doesn't think like me.
Not agree... with me.
But THINK... like me.
Intelligence and empathy can go a long way.


Paulxx001 66M
22642 posts
3/3/2020 5:46 pm

    Quoting secret_lade:
    When I have a hard time accepting my own imperfections.... How can I believe anyone else would either?
Maybe... you're being too harsh on yourself. Isn't there a statute of limitations on self recrimination?
Ever thought of letting it go? 🤔 🍷🍷😎


mc_justmc 63M

3/3/2020 8:17 pm

Interesting comparison. I never had a problem with her imperfections, but let me serve ice to another woman or freeze another woman's rump roast and I'm left out on the curb! Sheesh!


Paulxx001 66M
22642 posts
3/3/2020 9:37 pm

    Quoting mc_justmc:
    Interesting comparison. I never had a problem with her imperfections, but let me serve ice to another woman or freeze another woman's rump roast and I'm left out on the curb! Sheesh!
So... She was the jealous type.
Should I even ask what that - 'freezing a rump roast' - thingy is all about? 🤔
Yep... I hear you. 😶


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
3/3/2020 11:08 pm

Before you can accept someone else's 'imperfections', you have to acknowledge your own.
Love this quote from Marilyn Monroe: 'Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.'

[image]


Paulxx001 66M
22642 posts
3/4/2020 4:54 am

    Quoting sexyldy1000:
    Before you can accept someone else's 'imperfections', you have to acknowledge your own.
    Love this quote from Marilyn Monroe: 'Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.'

    [image]
That is true... all around.❗🍷🍷😊
I wonder if I'll remember these words... when they should count. How do you fair when using them? 🤔
Marilyn was a classic, wasn't she! 👍


Paulxx001 66M
22642 posts
3/4/2020 5:02 am

    Quoting  :

It would take a 'Poco', right? 😮 lol 😂
I think I might be a touch guilty of looking for perfection, when in fact I should be accepting people more - for who they are.
How do you do in those situations? 🤔
I have a feeling... you're a straight shooter with everyone you meet. 🍷🍷❗😎


Paulxx001 66M
22642 posts
3/4/2020 8:46 am

    Quoting  :

It's all good! 😊 👍
It's been years and... I mean... regardless of how frosty my ex got - she was never able to freeze an ice cube tray. 🍷🍷😎


Paulxx001 66M
22642 posts
3/4/2020 8:50 am

    Quoting  :

I measure other people's imperfections against mine and damn... I'm always coming up on top. 😮
My tolerance? 🤔 It's right up there.
Except... no vegans. Ya gotta draw the line SOMEWHERE! 👍 🍷🍷😎❗


smartasswoman 66F  
35813 posts
3/4/2020 11:06 am

Amazingly, I agree with Heathen. I think a lot of what people think is "love" is sexual infatuation.

I heard an interesting thread on Dan Savage's podcast where his guest speaker said that studies have shown that women are the gender most likely to become sexually bored, and that it usually happens after 2-4 years. No it's not a loss of libido, they're bored with their partner.

The following week, one of his callers said that her solution was not to live with her partner. By eliminating having to deal with the daily annoyances of someone else's "quirks", she manages to keep the flame alive. I suspect that would probably be a good solution for me (especially since I have my own flaws that would drive someone else crazy).

Or, the couple can be grown-ups, try to talk through the things that annoy each other and arrive at compromises/solutions. Ugh that's so hard though!


Paulxx001 66M
22642 posts
3/4/2020 1:48 pm

    Quoting smartasswoman:
    Amazingly, I agree with Heathen. I think a lot of what people think is "love" is sexual infatuation.

    I heard an interesting thread on Dan Savage's podcast where his guest speaker said that studies have shown that women are the gender most likely to become sexually bored, and that it usually happens after 2-4 years. No it's not a loss of libido, they're bored with their partner.

    The following week, one of his callers said that her solution was not to live with her partner. By eliminating having to deal with the daily annoyances of someone else's "quirks", she manages to keep the flame alive. I suspect that would probably be a good solution for me (especially since I have my own flaws that would drive someone else crazy).

    Or, the couple can be grown-ups, try to talk through the things that annoy each other and arrive at compromises/solutions. Ugh that's so hard though!
Why are you amazed with the Heathen? 🤔 lol 😂 😮 👍
I think much of THIS group of commenters (given their age), is so entrenched in their habits and foibles and idiosyncrasies, that love - is probably just an unattainable illusion.
I can live with someone's habits (however weird they are), but the fundamentals for curiosity and exploration and frivolity - have to be there. You're not finding that out till - 2 to 4 years down the road. Not surprising. hmmm... 🤔
Yeah... but isn't some of the fun, in other rooms besides the bedroom? You know what I mean.
So... points to Heathen. 👍
I know that the mind is a powerful organ and if it looks hard enough for something (in someone else), it'll find it. Can we be happy with that?
Some are...
So WHAT (habits) exactly, would drive me crazy 🤪? 🍷🍷😎❗
i can think of a few... 🌹


tsn4fun2 48M/46F  
257 posts
3/4/2020 6:16 pm

    Quoting Paulxx001:
    Wise words. Are you a therapist? lol 😂
    True, about communication. Well... you're a couple... I heard the words 'true love'... is that your ace?
    Gotta love a dent... that takes 50% off, something brand new.
    Hey... drop by any time. 👍
No I’m not a therapist but I’ve been married to the same man for a quarter of a century + now. We all have our ups and downs but IF you really want to keep the love of your life by your side then you just HAVE to accept the imperfections as they come on BOTH sides. Nobody is perfect and anyone who claims to be is just missing out on life period. You have to accept YOUR own imperfections and roll with it in order to honestly accept anyone else’s. Don’t forget that. If you and your spouse, lover, friends are all on the same page then nothing is impossible. Love finds a way to forgive and move forward. (Note I don’t say forget cuz what lessons would you have Learned if you did) You have to be positive and happy with yourself to achieve any of this. You have to be positive and happy to support whoever needs that support to get through any scratch and dents that arise. It’s all what you WANT to make of it. Having a true easy going attitude and acceptance of knowing that life throws you lemons helps a whole lot. Just think of ways to make lemonade from it all and throw the empty rines away. Trash days Wednesday and Saturday for us. lots of luck. Hope next round goes much smoother


smartasswoman 66F  
35813 posts
3/4/2020 7:11 pm

I agree with you that people in our age group tend to be a bit set in our ways and our quirks are ingrained! I've been living by myself for fifteen years, it's probably hopeless.

What are my quirks? Maybe a topic for a blog post...


Paulxx001 replies on 3/4/2020 9:26 pm:
i mean... how else can you explain my remarks to your virus concerns.
6 hours? 🤔 without air... will affect your judgement.
But yeah.
I'd say... stay home and play games here. or... go.
Just be vigilant.

Paulxx001 66M
22642 posts
3/4/2020 9:19 pm

    Quoting smartasswoman:
    I agree with you that people in our age group tend to be a bit set in our ways and our quirks are ingrained! I've been living by myself for fifteen years, it's probably hopeless.

    What are my quirks? Maybe a topic for a blog post...
i can live with quirks.
but people can change.
I used to be exclusive... on the left side of the bed. Now? I'm ambi-bedtrix. Either side. 😁
Baby steps. Do you laugh a lot? That's a game changer for me. I won't mind if you fart, but if you don't laugh at my quips? 🤔 OMG...
Yep... when's that topic coming?
Oh and.. I like that mitten.
I think it's about laughter. Really... ❗😎🍷🍷💕


Paulxx001 66M
22642 posts
3/4/2020 9:33 pm

    Quoting tsn4fun2:
    No I’m not a therapist but I’ve been married to the same man for a quarter of a century + now. We all have our ups and downs but IF you really want to keep the love of your life by your side then you just HAVE to accept the imperfections as they come on BOTH sides. Nobody is perfect and anyone who claims to be is just missing out on life period. You have to accept YOUR own imperfections and roll with it in order to honestly accept anyone else’s. Don’t forget that. If you and your spouse, lover, friends are all on the same page then nothing is impossible. Love finds a way to forgive and move forward. (Note I don’t say forget cuz what lessons would you have Learned if you did) You have to be positive and happy with yourself to achieve any of this. You have to be positive and happy to support whoever needs that support to get through any scratch and dents that arise. It’s all what you WANT to make of it. Having a true easy going attitude and acceptance of knowing that life throws you lemons helps a whole lot. Just think of ways to make lemonade from it all and throw the empty rines away. Trash days Wednesday and Saturday for us. lots of luck. Hope next round goes much smoother
I like your analogies. Good ones! 👍 😊
Myself? No regrets about the first round. Gave me two beautiful successful daughters who are managing and succeeding at their lives.
I'm at the stage where love - isn't an option. It's more of a luxury. A simple hug with a... ummm.
I'm a little more shallow than the idealists I see. And that's all good.
Yep... I liked your analysis. It's for those who still harbour patience. Hmmm... lol 😂
But I can still laugh. And THAT'S what's important to me. 😊 🍷🍷❗😎


Paulxx001 66M
22642 posts
3/5/2020 7:11 am

    Quoting  :

lol 😂 👍 I do... 🍷🍷❗😎


Paulxx001 66M
22642 posts
3/5/2020 8:43 am

    Quoting  :

... And who doesn't like to be compared to an old fridge. 👍Your nicks wouldn't bother me. 💕 Ya have knicks and dents? 🤔 🔥 💦
Those sculptures require some skill and talent to create... lol 😂
It's all starting to melt here... slowly... 😶😎🍷🍷🌹


tsn4fun2 48M/46F  
257 posts
3/5/2020 4:16 pm

    Quoting Paulxx001:
    I like your analogies. Good ones! 👍 😊
    Myself? No regrets about the first round. Gave me two beautiful successful daughters who are managing and succeeding at their lives.
    I'm at the stage where love - isn't an option. It's more of a luxury. A simple hug with a... ummm.
    I'm a little more shallow than the idealists I see. And that's all good.
    Yep... I liked your analysis. It's for those who still harbour patience. Hmmm... lol 😂
    But I can still laugh. And THAT'S what's important to me. 😊 🍷🍷❗😎
Touché my friend! Touché. Life is no fun without laughter


Paulxx001 66M
22642 posts
3/5/2020 5:42 pm

    Quoting tsn4fun2:
    Touché my friend! Touché. Life is no fun without laughter
Hey... Set up a 'mail box' on your blog.
You've got potential... lol 😂
Cheers 🥂 😎❗
Ever thought of sharing a thought?
I'd read it. 😶


tsn4fun2 48M/46F  
257 posts
3/5/2020 7:17 pm

    Quoting Paulxx001:
    Hey... Set up a 'mail box' on your blog.
    You've got potential... lol 😂
    Cheers 🥂 😎❗
    Ever thought of sharing a thought?
    I'd read it. 😶
Thanks for your kind words 😉 but I don’t have enough fresh ideas to start a blog. I’ll just keep to myself for now. I enjoyed your post enough to comment which I rarely do and enjoyed your interaction from it That’s gold in my book. I’ll continue to check in on ya! Make sure your refrigerator stays running 😋


Paulxx001 replies on 3/5/2020 7:52 pm:
No worries. It's all good.
Have fun. 🍷🍷❗

Livin_my_Life14 53F

3/5/2020 10:19 pm

I fell in love with the imperfections- if only he loved mine in return. 😘


Paulxx001 66M
22642 posts
3/6/2020 3:50 am

    Quoting Livin_my_Life14:
    I fell in love with the imperfections- if only he loved mine in return. 😘
Yep... That's not good when that happens.
Good thing there are plenty of fish out there. 🐠. 🍷🍷😎❗👍


pollly_anna 60F  
697 posts
3/8/2020 9:30 pm

Your sounding very nostalgic and melancholy in this post.


Paulxx001 66M
22642 posts
3/9/2020 5:36 am

    Quoting pollly_anna:
    Your sounding very nostalgic and melancholy in this post.
Perhaps... but not really. It's just a story about a dented and scratched fridge and how you can compare it to a relationship.
Most relationships aren't perfect. We all live with each other's little dings... don't we?
Or we won't ... and we walk away. 😶


pollly_anna 60F  
697 posts
3/9/2020 6:05 pm

Well ok.


Paulxx001 replies on 3/9/2020 10:29 pm:
It's all good.

FrankeeZee 56M
7 posts
3/14/2020 10:53 pm

I think I heard that same radio show. It was funny.


Paulxx001 66M
22642 posts
3/14/2020 11:37 pm

    Quoting FrankeeZee:
    I think I heard that same radio show. It was funny.
If you did, then you probably laughed like I did. Thanks for popping in. Drop by any time. 👍


Paulxx001 66M
22642 posts
3/27/2020 11:44 am

i had something to say, but... heck... sometimes it's better to just keep it to yourself.
Ya know what I mean?


Paulxx001 66M
22642 posts
5/10/2020 7:35 am

    Quoting lv2play2469:
    Interesting way to look at relationships... And it makes a lot of sense!!!
Thanks for popping and sharing your POV. Drop by any time !


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